Archive for August, 2006

To bitch or not to bitch

Monday, August 28th, 2006
REPUBLISHED: from YAHOO 360
I confess I think ill oftentimes. I think of masochism, stealing, suicide, and all sorts of dark things. But the weird thing is people see me as one sweet girl comparable to a saint. My secret? Repression.

Repression of these dark thoughts needs discipline but results could be very rewarding.  People treat me as though I’m a god for being able to spring back to life and smile after being betrayed. But little do they know how loud are the echoes of “Go to hell” being chanted in my mind. And, how much in my heart I wanted to curse and grip the throats of those who hurt me. But nah… all of these only lurk in my head. I couldn’t seem to have the guts to put these thoughts into actions.

Sometimes, I get into thinking that perhaps I’m not that bad after all. It’s because I can’t be firm enough to stand up to what I think is to be done. Guess I really do deserve to be called a saint. Yet deserving or not in the eyes of those who see me, I don’t care. It’s because with what they think of me, they jail me into another kind of repression.Being thought of as a saint, when in fact I’m not, is quite daunting. I need to do good, smile often and do well in school. This little act of “Pretend-to-be-a-saint” was my life for several years. It’s as though I lived to please those around me. But since “I’m only pretending”, the evil part of me exploded.

Now, people see me as a bitch. Cursing though nothing’s to be cursed. Failing even the easiest of subjects. Laughing my heart out though unethical in public. Making out in streets as though I don’t care. But I’m a bitch, who cares?!

Being a bitch could be so liberating but not as half as rewarding as being conceived as a saint. Perhaps I better stick with my little life drama of being the ever-crying-weak-protagonist. But nah… I’m tired of pretending. Guess I’ll just stick with being both. Just as Meredith Brooks’ song goes: “I’m a bitch, I’m a lover, I’m a child, I’m a mother, I’m a sinner, I’m a saint. I do not feel ashamed!”

*BLOG.i.ain’t.no.ordinary.bitch*jv

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holy shit!

Monday, August 28th, 2006

oops.. i… did it again… +britney spears

i’m not a big britney spears fan but, i just felt like quoting her. <wala’y buotay! FOOSER ku! ahihihi>

just about two and a half months ago, i have been weeping over a not-so-good-lookin’-monster-who-captured-my-heart. <i’d rather not call him asshole or beast ‘coz i’m not that mean.. ahihi *witchy witchy laugh*> since that tragic shredding of my heart, i swore never to fall in-love again.

but HOLY SHIT! just like a bird’s poo poo being dropped on me from the skies above, i fell in-love! *blush blush* i never knew what hit me until i met YNGWIE. <i was supposed to broadcast his name but nah.. i’d rather not.. for privacy’s sake, ahihi>

i swore never to love again… but… "ooops.. i.. did it again". sorry everybody but, i guess i’m not yet ready to give up on love! especially when i have this oh-so-kyuti-little-baby! *flirty smile*

BLOG.luv.ez.ain’t.that.shitty.after.all*jv

P.S. seahorse! alam mo na un.. ahihi mwah!

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fuck

Wednesday, August 23rd, 2006

Laureate Philip Larkin:

"They fuck you up, your Mum and Dad,
They may not mean to, but they do"

i dont despise my parents, i just wanna make that clear. but sometimes, i dread listening to their lengthy sermons about my so called against-all-odds-long-distance-relationship with my yubby, YNGWIE..

well, i have nothing against their expression of concern. as a matter of fact, i’m lovin’ all the attention that i’m getting… what fucks me up is their paranoia about erik.. funny huh?

i just dont get it. when i had relationships with guys residing in Davao, they were too paranoid about my going home late. wadafak?? it doesnt mean that when i go on dates, i would end up being pregnant, ayt?

now, erik. erik is in cavite!hell-o!? what specie of evil spirit could have spawned on them to think about these "out-of-this-world-silly-nonsensical-chuva-eck-eck"???? the following are just some of the claims that they have been too keen in debating about:

  1. erik is 40 years old or older than me.. <duh.. to cite fact, i’m approximately 2 years and 103 days older than him!>
  2. erik is just faking his so-called-love-for-me. <this i don’t know.. but he wouldn’t be investing enormous amount of money and effort just to tip on me, ayt? that would be very impractical!>
  3. erik is a Mafia associate or that kind, ready to feast on me as his prey <goodness gracious virgin!i’d rather not comment. this is really pathetic!! ahihihi>

well… well.. well! i think my parents will always be that way.. the only thing i could do is prevent them from fuckin’ us [mah baby & I] up!

so long, fuckahz.. ahihi

BLOG.noway.will.they.fuck.us.up.*jv

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bloody crap!

Tuesday, August 22nd, 2006

tsk tsk..

got really jealous

with all these

bloggin’ aroound me..

ahihi *witchy witchy laugh*

so i thought to myself:

"matry nga..* ahihi

now, here i am..

ala lang..

i told you, this is

just a blog full of

"bloody crap"

BLOG.jv.d.nonsense

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